Digital Grandparent

Geek and nerd humor. (Try and stop me, if you've heard these before.)

• The Geek shall inherit the earth (a nod to Time mag for this, I think, and now, browse the Top Ten Pop Culture Geeks by Andrew Leahy)
• Windows will never cease (nor will the service packs required to keep Windows going...my favorite sad truth!!)
• What boots up must, and surely will, come down. Hard.
• Never bite off more than you can browse
• Give a child a fish and she will eat for a day, show her how to surf the net and she won't bother you for weeks.
• HR Manager to job candidate: "I see you've had no computer training. Although that qualifies you for upper management, it means you're under-qualified for our entry level positions."
• Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from Magic.
• All computers wait at the same speed
• An Apple a day will cost you every cent you have

  And lastly, from Omri Weisman:

  A pilot in a single-engine charter plane, VIPS onboard, approaches Seattle through thick fog. His instruments go out. He circles, seeking landmarks.

   An hour passes. Fuel runs dangerously low. The passengers are nervous.

   Finally, a small opening in the fog. The pilot sees a tall building where one guy works alone on the fifth floor.

  The pilot banks, rolls down his window and shouts to the guy, "Hey, Man, where am I?"

  The solitary office worker replies "You're in a plane."

  The pilot rolls up the window, executes a 275 degree turn and makes a perfect blind landing on the runway of Seattle Airport, five miles away. Just as the plane stops, so does the engine - out of fuel.

  The passengers are dumbfounded.

  "How did you do that?" asks one.

  The pilot's reply: "I asked that guy a simple question. He gave an answer 100 percent correct, and absolutely useless. Therefore, that must be Microsoft's support office and from there the airport is just up the road."